Day 3 Update

by Aaron on December 10, 2011

We have something remarkably similar to a book now. Enjoy.



Be Principled

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Krissy December 12, 2011 at 2:40 pm

I was wondering if this sudden intense spate of really long writings was intended for a book. You tend towards shorter more sound-bite stuff.

Something that I don’t necessarily see so far is how to get at the why. People need to figure out why they want whatever it is they want. You have a broken compass, Sebastian. You are always going to want for the sake of wanting. Other people don’t have that. They need to have a why. If you offer them a why you will be their God.

I look forward to reading the full book. 🙂


Krissy December 12, 2011 at 3:20 pm

That sounds like I didn’t read the articles. You talk about going and reading and writing. I think that is nice and all, but it’s not that part that is important.

I’ll be blunt and say that I have a different view of hedonism than you, and that’s fine. I’m not interested in giving up my separate path and I’m not on the course to making lots of money. I should still listen to you and I feel like that why is hard to articulate.

You keep phrasing everything in terms of making money. That’s a short-sighted approach. In my opinion. You are talking to people about who they want to be when they grow up. You aren’t talking about unintended consequences, though. I feel kind of mixed reading your writing as a parent. You want to grow the human race but you want to be obsessively out working as well. There is a balance here that you aren’t addressing yet.

Most people don’t have the courage to walk away from their family to go make it independently in the world because they have never had to. You left at 16 for some reason. I get the impression it wasn’t abuse because you think fondly of your parents, but most people would have to actively choose to stop fulfilling obligations in order to leave like that.

Why would they want to do that? Why is the upshot really worth it? Being selfish enough to pursue your own goals over what other people want from you requires being ok with letting people down. Why should people do that? I think they should. I do. It’s not just fear of being misunderstood, though. I think you are minimizing actual obstacles.

Not to enacting your basic ideas in other ways, but not everyone can run off to make money in quite the way you can. If you only want to write to men of a certain age, well that might be better marketing. And few of them will worry about the things I’m mentioning. But you will be seriously limiting your audience.


Aaron December 12, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Thank you for the comments.

To clarify, I don’t think Sebastian thinks that his path is the right path for everyone. In fact I think he said something to the effect of “I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, nor my friend”.

Being devoted to your family is worthwhile. Being devoted to discovery or engineering is worthwhile. Being devoted to good service is worthwhile.

Thanks for the comment, we should definitely emphasize this more in the book.

Do you think that this article gets it across?


“For a warrior there is nothing other than thinking of his master. If one creates this resolution within himself, he will always be mindful of the master’s person and will not depart from him even for a moment. Moreover, a woman should consider her husband first, just as he considers his master first.”

“For a warrior there is nothing other than thinking of his master.” Firm agreement. If you serve, serve with everything you have. In the Sengoku era and Tokugawa Japan afterwards, your service would usually be to your lord, but you did serve other causes too – your family, the people you have duties to, honor and ethics, perhaps your form of worship and religion. These days, many people serve nothing. And this is sad. No wonder so many people feel causeless and purposeless.

I give myself over to my ethics, I serve them, and I serve all who are strong and virtuous. It might take time to find something worthy of your service, but when you enter into service, you should serve fully. This unifies you mind and body, you feel strong and purposeful.

“Moreover, a woman should consider her husband first, just as he considers his master first.” I agree with this too. I respect modern women who give themselves over to a cause. Women can and have been warriors. But if a woman is not a warrior, then she must keep her duty to her family as he keeps it to his cause. It disgusts and horrifies me that in the West women so casually give themselves over to “having a nice life” and “being fashionable” instead of to family or to a cause. If a woman chooses to give herself over to science, engineering, governance, entrepreneurship, law, art – these are all valid, and she can serve that cause. If not, she should give herself over to family. To something, at least. Living to “have a nice life” feels good for a while, but leaves people with a feeling of despair and uselessness later.


Krissy December 13, 2011 at 2:29 pm

*blink* Holy fucking shit. That is the most blatantly anti-feminist writing I have seen in a long time. Uhm. Well. Whereas I don’t mind in the slightest that Sebastian feels this way, whatever turns your crank, I think that leaving this out of the book is a good idea.

This will get you relegated to crazy-town. Seriously. Or rather, it will alienate female readers other than the highly misogynistic ones. Because who gets to decide what is “worthy”.

Ok, this is stuff I have learned since becoming a parent and I’ve talked to a lot of women who feel similarly. Having children steals a large part of your identity. Becoming a wife steals a large part of your identity. These changes are good, but they still involve losing space you used to be allowed to have. I am no longer allowed to prioritize my desire to clean the house, the baby has to nurse. etc. Long list of stupid complaints.

They are all ephemeral complaints and in the fullness of time you do know they are petty. They don’t feel like they are transient at the time. It’s highly intense. It’s easier if you have a lot of family to help, but in the modern world many people do this solo.

It’s ok for women to dabble in things and not be fully attached to a cause right now. Dabbling in things is how women keep a foot in the world and are able to have an exit strategy from a life of endless drudgery. It’s how a woman can go find her cause. Being a mother and a wife cannot be all-encompassing because many facets of those roles are transitory. My children will need less and less of my time. If I lose contact with the world, where will I be in a few years? And yet I think I should be at home with them the vast majority of the time.

That leaves me with time to dabble. I can’t all out dedicate myself to something right now. I can only play with being a mild supporting person in a lot of different capacities that I can drop at any moment. Because my kids come first. That won’t always be true and I want to keep my ear to the ground for things I *can* do.

I understand that you think the wife should devote herself to her husband. Do you mean become his full-time personal assistant? What is she supposed to do with her time when he is otherwise engaged? Is she required to help him at work and be building him like a God-figure? Yeah. Feminists aren’t going to like that much.

Just saying. 🙂


Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: